The Gift of God

 

Special Needs Land hits most of us really hard, I know. I experienced it myself. My special needs son was not born typically but came by Cesarean. 

Further, when they pulled him out of my womb, he collapsed and went straight to oxygen. Then he went to NICU for two weeks. His medical equipment filled the living room when he came home with a genetic diagnosis.

Yet, when I chose his name, it was before I knew that he was a special needs baby. 

Gift of God just sounded right.

My son's older brother at the age of 5 had prayed for a baby brother, and God gave him one. I knew I wanted another baby, but I was not sure if I was too old to get pregnant. 

Yet, along came my son, Gift of God. 

He was a challenge, but always a gift, even before he was born.

They told me he would just sit and watch tv

While television sure is a favorite pastime of many, it really does not have anything to do with who my son is today.

But, the point is we were told many things like this that limited my son to a behavior that had little to nothing to do with who he is as a person.

My son is a gift of God because he is a creation of God. 

He holds likes, interests, and activities that define who he is. Plus, he loves to go places and do things, which of course, do not have anything to do with television! 

Do we run up against the wall of his genetic syndrome? Yep, you bet. But, I always encourage him to be who he is and encourage him in his interests, even as he grows and changes. 

In truth, his tantrums and meltdowns are far worse than I imagined (being honest here). The professionals who were/are supposed to help us, often times fail to do that. And the system is one big pile of corruption.

But, when I look at my son, receive his hugs and sloppy kisses, or listen to his childlike banter (even as a big kid), I know that I am blessed. 

The bad days are just that.

They are just bad days. 

It is really hard to remember that when things are really dark and we cannot find a solution for whatever issue burdens our special needs kid.

I read the posts too of so many moms struggling under the weight of what it takes to care for our kids, and many of us do it alone. Some moms are even married and shoulder this burden alone. When we are honest, we are that mom too. She is a reflection of who we are as well.

So, at the end of the day, or even during a rough season, just take small moments to breathe in scripture, a hot bath, or an extra nap. Take the moments you can to refresh and regroup.

Remember that this season, too, will be over and better days are tomorrow or on the horizon. 

It is really not over until God says so!

God has a plan

Yep. He really does, and that includes your special needs angel (who may not always act like an angel). 

One thing I know for sure is that He created our children and then placed them here in our families for a purpose and a reason. 

It is one of the reasons why I started writing (which is one of my own personal calls by the Lord), but He also has a unique plan for both our special needs kids and our typical kids. 

Watch them. Watch how they play and talk to each other. Look for the ways they positively interact with each other and their peers. 

Nurture it and support their God-given attributes. God's purpose and plan remain in the middle of these little nuggets of our kids' personalities. 

Further, what is His plan for you as a mom and a woman of God? What is the Lord trying to teach you? Has He called you to prayer or some service to your family?

If you are not sure, ask Him and He will unfold the truth right before you.

You are not alone

I think this is where yes, our faith comes in, but also where we rely on each other for support. 

There are so many special needs groups on Facebook, and I know if you are like me, you joined several of them! 

The things we all have in common are our special needs kids, the long hours, difficult medical issues, behavioral challenges, learning difficulties, and then the rest of our duties as moms and sometimes wives.  

While we may have specific challenges as individuals, generally, it is all about our special needs kids some days. 

The unique challenges punctuate our daily lives while we struggle with being unable to go places or make a quick run to the store. Further, shuttling and caring for our typical kids and their needs remains a rather large task when you are the only one running the ship.

But, after the storm of the day, or even before it starts, God is there, waiting for you to listen to Him. 

He is the still, small voice in the peace and He is the Word on the pages of our Bibles. His Holy Spirit is what leads and guides you through each and every decision. 

Whether you are alone physically or married, He is always with you and will help you every step of the way. 

While we may not have been given the easy lives as special needs moms, we are blessed with a Mighty God who knows everything that we need.

In His grip~Kim

The Story of My God-Given Divorce

 

I waited years to really write about my divorce. Mostly out of respect for the violent behavior of my Ex-husband. I mean, really, you don't poke a tiger unless you want it to maul you.

So while I have long since carried my heart to the Lord for healing, I knew that I could not give it to a man like that again. 

I knew that he committed adultery against me, but he was careful to cover his tracks, so later I surmised that he had done it over and over again. 

Once I climbed over the hurdle of betrayal and hurt that comes with an adulterous and abusive husband, I arrived face to face with the religious narcissistic lies of the church.

You need to forgive him (and trust him again).

You were called to save him.

Just pray for him until he comes home. 

On and on it went like this. 

And when that did not work the way they wanted it to, it became a different manipulation.

You need to repent, Sister.

God is punishing you.

Whispers and stares followed me all over the church as if my purity before God meant absolutely nothing. What they surmised as sexual purity (staying married to an adulterer) wasn't purity at all.

The religious women who never had to worry about an unfaithful husband or a life of abuse from a sheep-dressed wolf clucked their tongues at me and branded me with a Scarlet Letter A. 

The problem is that none of it was even true.

What they did not see were my cries to God to save us from getting killed by this man. The best I felt I could hope for with this man was to not catch some horrible sexual disease he picked up somewhere. Or, not wake up yet again while he was raping me in my sleep.

Worse, once the truth began to come out about who he was, we were left abandoned by corrupt local law enforcement when I found a fully-loaded assault Army rifle hidden in our backyard shed. The case he kept it in had several magazines of bullets in the case. All he had to do was point, unlock, and shoot that gun. 

My children and I were completely abandoned, even though we were completely his victims.

The point is that these people in the church had no idea what was going on, so they created some erroneous sin they made up and accused me of needing repentance.

None of it was born of the Holy Spirit.

Because after all, evil men do not marry Godly women, right?

And she must have done something to make him do what he did, right?

The problem is their own coverups

I mean, really. How many evil women narcissistically point their accusing finger at abused women and their children, while evil men refuse to live up to anyone's Christian standards. 

But, the truth of the matter is that it isn't because the rest of us need some level of repentance, but because these women are filled with dead bones themselves. 

You see, in a world full of psychology and mental health crises, the truth remains that such women harbor cold, dark hearts that hate. They marry evil, immoral men, who cling to their selfish delusions. 

The image of Jezebel and her husband, Ahab comes to mind quite quickly. She sent her evil husband after a prophet of God, and when that didn't work, she went after him herself.

While the modern church may not go quite that far, how right are they when they shun women for rightly getting a divorce from adulterous men?

Worse, they try to make men "repent" and go back to their wives. Why? Do they want them to victimize their wives again?!

So God had the last word

Not only did He give me a divorce, but He made a way for my sons and me to live in our home and continue our life of homeschooling.

The Lord helped me get the money I needed, and we lived a happy, and generally peaceful life like this until COVID. 

Without my Ex-husband.

And not once did I invite twenty men over to stay the night or even visit a bar...

I mean, seriously, why do people think that? Is that what they did?! 

I hate bars and I want to get married, not pick up random, stray men.

So, yes, God knew that my children and I deserved better, so He gave it to us.

I cannot say why some people act that way

For the longest time, I struggled to understand why people in or out of the church attack innocent bystanders with such hate. 

I still don't.

But, what I have learned is that only God can rescue someone, even from themselves. I could not in a million years rescue my Ex-husband from himself. 

But, what I can continue to do is not rescue him. Proverbs tells us:

A violent-tempered person will pay the penalty; if you effect a rescue, you will only have to do it again. Proverbs 19:19

Nor can I rescue attacking women from themselves either. 

These people must repent before a mighty God, who is their Creator and truly Lord over all. If they don't, well, then what can the rest of us do about it? 

I can tell you that inviting them to church really isn't the answer, especially if they believe they are not the problem---everyone else is.

You either accept the gift that God has to offer you, or you don't.

God has the final say

And that, my friends, is the last word. 

The Lord does allow for divorce for adultery. Just because two people are married, does not mean that a man cannot commit adultery and defile the marriage bed. 

Because trust me, a man does defile the marriage bed when he goes after another woman other than his wife. Or even rapes the wife (or another woman) he has.

He cannot go back and make it right. Nor can he undo what he did. It is what it is.

He made a choice to not follow God.

Further, a woman is not impure because she was violated by her husband. She does not brandish the adultery label. 

No, her husband is the one who gets to carry that load.

And, woe is it to those who carry the load of adultery and worse, refuse to repent. 

If you are divorced

God will bless you for a divorce He has granted. The harsh words in the Bible about how God hates divorce are generally leveled at men who are unfaithful.

Sure, not all women are pure and in control of themselves, but rarely does a woman commit adultery. It generally tends to not be in our nature.

Even if you did wrong your husband, then you have the choice to repent and find God's forgiveness. If you did, then you are forgiven.

But, I promise you that God's will and purposes of sexual purity will be carried out in our marriages and our families.

If we are faithful to the Lord and seek His will in our lives, then He will faithfully carry out our purposes, even if He must remove evil from our homes. 

Trust God always and follow His will for your life and all will go well with you.

The Lord is always faithful!

My God Shall Supply All of My Needs in Christ Jesus

 

I have been thinking about the judgment of God lately. Not at the end of the world way, but in the consequences of people's destructive choices.

I truly believe that destructive people lost sight of the fact that while the world was virtually shut down in self-protection, the world was not there to become their playground.

Worse, their idea of fun is to attack all those people whom they wanted to attack for years and actually get away with it. Given the fact that COVID was not forever and was not the apocalypse, the consequence of their actions was already on its way.

It really was as if they thought, "Whatever happens during COVID, stays in COVID." 

As we all watch the FBI and judicial system rise up and take charge of some of these people, I noticed the rest of the cockroaches have run off to hide. 

It really is a glimpse of hope on the horizon.

God's time is perfect.

In fact, it has less to do with the Gregorian calendar than many know.

Really, this has become clearer to me with each passing year. Despite my best attempts to live life according to the traditional calendar we all live with, the Holy Spirit thrives in the Hebrew calendar, which is truly His original design.

So, while we live out our daily Christian lives, we might wonder why the Hebrew lunar calendar system is so important. I mean, Jesus came, died, and rose again. He is the Messiah.

If you don't know, the two calendars follow two different naturally occurring systems. The Hebrew follows the lunar cycle, and the Gregorian follows the solar cycle.

In short, both calendar systems take in the fact that the earth revolves around the sun every 365 1/4 days. The Gregorian calendar adds in an extra day every four years, and the Hebrew calendar adds in a whole month every 2-3 years or 7 times over the course of nineteen years. 

The general idea is to keep our seasonal holidays and routines within their respective times and in alignment with the seasons of the year. 

Exactly how all this is played out is purely the will of God. Amen?

What does this have to do with the calendar?

So, if you do not know, this Jewish year, which ends on the 25th of September, is a Shemitah year. What this means is a year of rest for the land and a release of debts, as laid about in the Bible in Leviticus. 

While yes, we, as Christians do not typically live within the Jewish calendar system, as I stated, it is important to God. Think of it as a day of rest on Sundays, only this is a whole year of rest.

While I am not sure that God does not want Christians to work during Shemitah, I know that He will supply your needs no matter what He calls you to.

But, did you know that many financial disasters have befallen the unbelievers during the Shemitah year? Further, many financial advisors already know this and prepare for a fallout. You can read more about Shemitah and what it is here. 

And the thing is, it usually occurs right before the Shemitah year comes to an end. And, this is world history, folks, not just some out-of-the-sky proclamation.

But, what does this say to us as Believers?

Justice is served in God's time

I think this point rings particularly true after this dark season in our world. While events tested all of us deeply, restoration has arrived. 

And, those who wreaked havoc on our lives and our families will pay dearly for what they have done in one way or another. 

While some may not end up behind bars, still others will remain in the emotional prisons they built for themselves. Sometimes, people, that is enough. 

If you don't believe in God's justice, now is the time to watch it unfold. 

It reminds us to trust God for our financial provision

Truly, most of us work as hard as we can, and while tight days may come, God still helps us land on our feet. He provides, gives us better pay, another job, a check in the mail, etc. 

Is it hard to reign in your fears as you go careening into a momentary lack of needed money? Yep. Don't let anyone fool you. This remains part of our human existence.

Are you in need of money? Pray for the Lord's answer for your family's financial provision. He knows the way and has the answers you need. Further, He even knows what you need! Amen?

So, while we may not remember this nugget of truth in the midst of a financial crisis, trusting God will get us to the other side.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

In His grip~Kim

When Your Husband is an Adulterer and You Become The Spiritual Head

 

It took me years to write about my Ex-husband's adulteries. Oh, he did not just take one but several women. In fact, he had a whole other life filled with violence, alcohol, and God knows what else. 

He did all of this while I was at home caring for a very disabled special needs little boy and his big brother. If you think about it, it was the perfect coverup for him.

So, when I found out even a fraction of what was going on, I knew I was 100% right for kicking him out and then locking him out. 

He lost his coverup and tried to keep it which is another story. 

But, you see, from the church I received:

God hates divorce.

But, what I NEVER, EVER heard was that God hates sexually immoral and adulterous men and that we should not remain yoked with someone like this. In fact, we should push out the sexually immoral from among us. 

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:8-13, ESV

So, God set me up as the spiritual leader of our family

So, having never grown up in church and having no real family, I read my Bible. And, if you have read some of these posts on this blog you know, I studied my Bible, its history, and the culture and history of Israel. (I still do)

I knew that God had truly anointed me to serve Him and to lead my sons and me into the future. 

Further, as a mother and a leader, I taught my sons the Bible and we read it almost every day together. My sons knew that everything I did, I did with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Why? Because I had absolutely no idea how we were going to make it! Lol

Yep, the reality of single mom-hood was knocking on my door.

People act like I chose this.

Like I made him go out and have an affair. 

Sure, I guess I could look the other way and remain married to him. But, in truth, my heart would not allow me to even consider that.

Even worse, being married to a liar, con man, and adulterer, you learn real quick that he is lying about everything.

Further, because he is lying, you really do not know how bad it is on the other side. And now, years later, I can say that I did not know but a small fraction of what he was up to. Honestly, I still don't.

So, no, I am not an adulteress and I cannot even attempt to become one.

God did not call us to be adulterers

You know this. You read it in the Bible. 

And yet, far too many pastors and even church leaders and members tell wives to stay married to unfaithful husbands. Their rationale almost always goes back to the argument that God hates divorce.

They need to read their Bibles because Moses was not speaking to the women in that passage. He was speaking to the men who wanted to divorce their wives for purely ridiculous reasons. 

But, what they fail to see is that adultery is only the symptom of their evil. Ya'll it isn't the cause! 

So, the next time, a woman confides in you about her cheating husband, You tell her to pack his bags and set them out on the curb after she changes the locks on her door to protect herself and her children. 

Tell him to go shack up with his girlfriend, because that is all he has now.

Do not, absolutely, tell her she needs to stay and pray for her husband while he brings home God knows what else and even endangers her and her children.

What you missed if you tell her to only pray is that God just called her to single motherhood.

God sets single women up to spiritually lead

Yep. I mean, think about it, who is she supposed to trust with her daily to-do list? And what about the drop in income and trials because she has to work and care for her kids all at the same time?

She becomes the helm and she with God's help must guide the ship of her family.

While it sounds nice to be able to trust men at church, many either are disinterested in helping us or are men from the creepy side of life. I learned that unfortunate lesson when I met my Ex at church. 

So, if you are a single mom, new or experienced, get on your knees and pray, because God has a big task for you!

Prayer is a single mom's best defense

I know this and I have lived it for years. God blesses our family with miracle after miracle. I cannot count them all. 

Because I have been on my knees we survived homelessness when my Ex locked us out (won't ever happen again), loss of income, illnesses, official divorce, and so much more!

Am I still waiting for new miracles? Absolutely!

But, until then, I will continue to pray and sow those seeds for God. 

Why? Because I know that God has all the answers that I need.

The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:7-8, ESV

In His grip~Kim

What is Your Family's Call From God?

 

I was not born in a Christian home. In fact, my father is an atheist and my mother is an agnostic. So, the very fact that I write on this blog like this, as a Christian, stands in their view, as complete heresy.

Growing up, my parents mocked and laughed at our Christian family members. It became part of the mundane foundation they laid for themselves. Even today, their godlessness is showing up as less glamorous and more like the bitter pill, they swallow every day.

And, they are getting near the end of their lives.

So, when I arrived at the door of my first real church family, all I heard was how much I needed to save my family. But, all I kept saying in my head was they would never take Jesus seriously, and then would make an irreverent joke.

So, I stayed at church, but I kept my comments to myself.

Unfortunately, my silence separated me as I quietly observed on the sidelines the truth.

Not all church people are going to heaven

I know, right? It is a shocker.

If you have been a genuine believer in Christ and followed Him, you know this. They might even be in your family like mine.

But, I refer to the people who come regularly every Sunday, Wednesday, and in between, but cannot show one bit of kindness to anyone. 

Or, the rebels who show up because their family makes them come, hoping that it will just get them off their backs.

Then, there are the occasional church-goers, who show up for major holidays but do not live the Christian life.

Then there are the church rules.

Oh, the list goes on and on. 

But, what it really comes down to is that going to church isn't what saves you. But, it sure is nice if when you go, people accept you.

Ah, yes, the real problem.

Enter one special needs kid

We have a church story where we lived this amazing dream for a few years of bliss at church.

And then my son's care person went off to college, and we quickly discovered just how much she was holding my son's Sunday School experience together.

Sure, God is in control, but He took us out not long after that, because well, He wanted us home. 

But, what our high school care person did for us, is buffer the hate around us from the religious legalism that special needs kids are supposed to act like normal kids. And worse, the religious folks simply do not care if your special needs kid cannot act normal. 

You just need to discipline your kid.

He needs us to tell him how to behave because his mother isn't.

They just need to sit in church like the regular kids.

On and on it went.

So, we came home and we learned how to live the special needs life as a Christian family. Hmmm...

It became our family call from God

No, we don't pass out Bible tracts or try to lay hands on people, but what we do is share the love of God with folks.

For example, when we first walk into Dollar Tree on our treat day, my now huge special needs son waves and yells loudly, Hi, we're back! 

I learned to stop cringing at his loudness and learned to laugh instead. Why? Because his purity was really beautiful.

It does not matter if they know him or not, he knows he belongs and that he is going to make a new friend out of whoever is in the store! 

I love to quietly follow him and watch people transform as he wins over their appreciation for his absolute enthusiasm. 

He generally wins at this event and spends every last dollar he has on Dollar Tree stuff to boot!

The point here is that each and every one of our special needs kids has a ministry of some sort. We cannot just assume they are useless to society.

As a family, it becomes our ministry to support them and help the world learn acceptance of the differences and uniqueness of our kids.

Does that mean they will live normal lives? No, most times it doesn't. But, what it does mean is that our families find our God-given purpose.

Even in the darkness, folks.

So, what is your family's call?

Do you have one yet, or is it to be discovered?

I truly believe that God has a plan for each and everyone one of us. But, trust me, it is not found in repelling the world with religious zealotry.

Truly, it comes in the softening of the hearts of people who believe in love. 

The question becomes, how are you called to serve Him and how are you to do it in your family? 

They may not listen, nor will they always receive you. But, if God calls you, all you can do is persist in sharing the love of God with them.

Some will repent and others won't. 

But, what we cannot deny is the call of the Lord on our lives and His ministry for us as individuals and as a family.

So, listen to the Lord's message which was to be delivered through Moses to the Israelites:

God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations. Go and gather the elders of Israel together and say to them, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob, has appeared to me, saying, “I have observed you and what has been done to you in Egypt, and I promise that I will bring you up out of the affliction of Egypt to the land of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, a land flowing with milk and honey.”’  Exodus 3:15-17, ESV

He will give the people of God His voice for His purpose and His will.

Amen?

In His grip~Kim